Soul Searching
A poem by Shirley Kotsanos


I tried to think of all the wonderful things my church has done this year.
We had a Christmas program, Christmas banquet, and sold candy for the youth, so dear.
There were activities galore...socials, parties, youth weeks..we certainly had our share.
But most of all, it has been a year of love, friendship, fellowship and much care.

So...I tried and tried, to think of everything that this year had brought us in fun.
But, all I could seem to dwell upon was what I had...or had not done!
Now...there comes a time, for each of us to glance back...and carefully look at our past.
For, deep within us we each must know, that only what's done for Christ will last.

"Well", thought I, 2009, you will soon be over, and just what can I say about you?
Have you been good to me? Have you prospered me? Helped me discover anything new?
Will you be remembered, and talked about fondly.  Will the church be glad that you were?
Or will you be forgotten...or whispered about...or will the church wish you had been obscure?"

Then, I heard SOMEONE whisper, "Shirley, tell me what YOU did in '98, please...
Did you tell of My love..did your pray and fast enough..did you love your neighbor, absolutely?
Did you ask My advise first of where you should go, what to do, or exactly what you should say?
Or did you rashly go ahead without MY approval, and be gone, carelessly on your way?

When the missionaries were here, were you faithful each day to hold them up in prayer?
Did you attend each meeting with a zealous heart, their burden did you help to bear?
When many of my little ones received MY Spirit, were you filled with ecstasy delight?
Or were you too busy excusing yourself of why you must leave early that night!

What of all those who sought MY Spirit, and I filled them when their heart was in tune...
And what of the others who were seeking for ME..did you cease praying a moment too soon?
When they were seeking, and seeking for me,
were you anywhere to be found?
On your knees...pleading their cause...or were you just sitting and looking around?

Remember all the ones who were baptized, and in the water went down in MY NAME?
Were you there to encourage, and show them you cared, or to you are all baptisms the same?
Did I not add more strength to your number, when I answered the prayers that I heard...
When 'souls' came to me, and received MY Spirit, and they were all saved by MY Word?

When there was work to be done to increase My Kingdom, or perhaps to help enlarge My House,
Did you offer your help, your time or your money,
or were you quiet as the proverbial church-mouse?
I have called my Messengers to teach you to love, and love, and love, and love...
He received that Wisdom, Knowledge and concern from My Father above.

When you were admonished for what you had done, and you knew you were in the wrong,
Did you accept the chastisement in rebellion, or did I find in your heart a 'new song'?
Did you praise ME for the choir I gave you, to bless your soul with every week?

Did you pray for the Director and each song that I, their soul would keep?
Then, did you lift up your hands and your voice to Heaven..far up to the lofty heights,
Did you let ME inhabit your praises sublime, or did you send ME elsewhere some nights?

Were you missionary minded, for your heart had been broken, because you really did care...
Did the missionaries life-work mean something to you, or did you feel you had done your share?
The youth are the 'church of tomorrow'...if I choose to tarry next year.
Have you carefully helped water and feed them, and help nurture them tenderly, with care?"

Suddenly, the Voice was silent...the words of admonition still rang in my ear.
I bowed my head, and cried softly, 'Lord, I know I didn't...I didn't do enough this year!'
And I watched and prayed, as '09 turned away, and walked silently out of the door.
And, I said, as the New Year Stranger took hold of my hand,
"I will...in 2010... I will do much more!"


Written by Shirley Kotsanos
Send me an email.



Shirley